WINDYSPEAK - A GUIDE TO TERMINOLOGY OFTEN USED
HERE AT THE WINDYPICS PHOTO ARCHIVE:

This tongue-in-cheek guide was designed to enable visitors to this site to better understand some of the jargon and slang terminology that is (all too) frequently used here, and which they may not be familiar with. More of these will be added as and when I come across any that aren't already included or I think of any that I've missed (do let me know if you come across any terms that you don't understand and I will include them in the next update).

Please note that as a graduate of the Bernard Manning School of Political Correctness, some of the terms used here may be deemed offensive to some people, especially snowflake types, and in that event I will be only too happy to completely ignore any complaints made by them. We won't have any of that Wokey Metropolitan nonsense that has turned the once mighty BBC into such a laughing stock here, if I photograph a Black Sheep it will be described as such (nowt racist about that because it's a fact), so you will not be seeing any stupid descriptions such as 'non-white' Sheep.

Finally, I would also like to point out that I probably fall into a number of the categories listed below, but just which ones they are I'm definitely not saying, you'll have to guess those for yourselves!:-) If you have any queries or would like to suggest a few terms that might be added here (nothing too rude as this is a family friendly site), do please feel free to contact me at: windypics.me at gmail.com (you'll need to replace the 'at' with an @ symbol)

'NUMBERS'
  • TERM USED:
  • EXPLANATION:
  • 2 'O' CLOCK CALL:
  • The sound made by the mobile phones as all the married Photters get the dreaded call from their wives at 2pm on Saturday afternoons informing them that they've had quite enough fun with their silly trains, and need to come home and take them shopping.
  • 6 INCH NAILER:
  • A very wet day when the rain is coming down so hard that it gives the appearance of '6 inch nails' on the photograph (I'm very fond of these).
  • 18 WHEELER:
  • Very fat person.

    'LETTER 'A'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • ARSE ABOUT FACE:
  • Wrong way round.
  • ARSE END:
  • Rear end - the back of something.
  • AVTG:
  • Aire Valley Transport Group.

    'LETTER 'B'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • BACK END OF A BUS:
  • Two answers to this one: 1. The obvious one, - the rear end of a omnibus, and 2. - to quote a common english insult about fat people: "he/she looks like the back end of a bus".
  • BALLOONS:
  • Double-Decker heritage trams at Blackpool.
  • BANANAS:
  • Manchester Metrolink M5000 yellow trams.
  • BARBIE:
  • Often used to describe the corporate livery used by First Group on its buses and trains.
  • BARMPOT:
  • Northern English term for someone who is a bit of a fool e.g. "He's a right Barmpot!".
  • BASHERS:
  • Diesel enthusiasts who ride around all day logging mileage behind certain locos, and who like to lean out of the carriage window and shout abuse when they see any Videographers filming the train.
  • BAY WINDOW:
  • Fat beer belly, usually seen on a person wearing a bright red jacket (see 'Red Blob'), the red jacket is to ensure that they look doubly distracting if they manage to get into your shots.
  • BEAN COUNTER:
  • Accountant, or whoever is in charge of the finances.
  • BEEREX:
  • Special Beer Train for enthusiasts, often run at the end of Galas, and designed to part them from any money not spent during the daytime.
  • BEHIND THE FENCE:
  • Staying behind the railway fence and not trespassing on the railway's property.
  • BIG BERTHA:
  • My very big (and heavy) Sigma 150-500mm lens.
  • BIG BUGGER:
  • Rather large vehicle, locomotive or vessel.
  • BIG DITCH:
  • The Manchester Ship Canal.
  • BIG GOB:
  • Large mouth e.g. "That guy/woman has a big gob!".
  • BIG LASS:
  • Large girl or woman.
  • BLACK 5:
  • LMS Stanier Class 5 4-6-0 steam loco, usually painted black.
  • BLOBBING:
  • Strange nodding head motion made by some train spotters as they attempt to record all the train, coach and wagon numbers on their Dictaphones. Very similar to what some orthodox Jews do at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, I believe they also refer to that as 'blobbing' as well.
  • BOBBY:
  • Old term once applied to Signalmen.
  • BOCCLE:
  • This is the way that many northerers pronounce 'Bottle', e.g. "A boccle of pop"!
  • BOG OFF:
  • British slang term meaning 'Go away', less rude version of a certain other expression involving the word 'off'.
  • BOOB TUBE:
  • Derogatory name for YouTube.
  • BOWLED:
  • In this context it refers to having your shot ruined when a vehicle (bus or train etc.) comes up on the inside behind you just as you are about to take a shot of one coming the other way and blocks your view. This is very annoying when it happens, and usually results in lots of comments such as 'Oh Dear', and 'Tut, Tut what a Shame' (if you believe that you'll believe anything!).
  • BOY RACER:
  • Usually a young male who thinks that he is immortal and can drive his car around at ridiculous speeds without getting injured, or managing to kill some innocent passer by. In reality, these are usually brain dead morons, who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near to something as potentially dangerous as a lump of metal with an engine in it!.
  • BR:
  • British Rail or British Railways.
  • BRASS:
  • Slang term for money which is widely used in northern England.
  • BRASS MONKEY WEATHER:
  • As the old nautical saying goes "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey"! (note# a brass monkey was a metal tray which held the cannon balls on old naval ships, and not what you were thinking - shame on you!)
  • BREW:
  • Cup of Tea or Coffee.
  • BRIDGET THE FIDGET:
  • Female version of 'Dithering Don' (see section 'D' for details).
  • BUBBLE CAR:
  • Class 121 DMU.
  • BUFFER STOPS:
  • Not the round metal things at the end of the line, but the name of the new 'Real Ale' pub at Rawtenstall Station.
  • BURRS BRIGADE:
  • Group of photographers who spend most of their time at Burrs Country Park taking taking the same pictures as everyone else.
  • BUTTIE/BUTTY:
  • Northern English slang term for a sandwich, may also be spelt as 'Butty', or sometimes referred to as a 'Sarnie', though there is often a strange unwritten convention that when eaten with Chips, Jam or Bacon it's a Buttie/Butty, and with Cheese, Ham or Bacon & Eggs it's a Sarnie. Don't ask me why, it's just one of the many weird things that British people do!

    'LETTER 'C'
    e
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • CAMERA PHONE NAZIS:
  • Name given to all those people who stand in huddles and hold their right arms up in the air to take photos with their camera phones, they look like they're all giving the Nazi salute.
  • CAPTAIN BILL:
  • Term of endearment for Crompton 33109, which carries the nameplate 'Captain Bill Smith RNR".
  • CARRIER BAG MAN:
  • A common sight on many station platforms, a number of (usually men) walking around with nothing but a carrier bag for company. NOTE# some of these are 'legitimate' and may just have bought a book or model from the station shop, but there is also another one, usually getting on in years, who has just used a quick visit to the local store as a chance to get away from his bossy domineering wife for a few minutes, so he can sneak off to the station and look at a few steam trains.
  • CARRIER BAG RATING:
  • The Windypics method of rating Steam Galas, which is based on the number of little old men who have sneaked away from their bossy wives for a few minutes to see the steam locos. Measurements for these are usually made at Ramsbottom Station (e.g. the more carrier bag men seen there, the more popular the event was).
  • CATTLE PROD:
  • Essential item for dealing with the ever growing number of Smartphone Zombies that get in your way. I recommend the extremely high voltage electric types for optimum results. (NOTE# You can buy these on eBay).
  • C & W:
  • 'Carriage and Wagon', these are the talented folks who restore and keep the railway's coaches and wagons in good fettle.
  • CESS:
  • The space alongside the track.
  • CHARTER CHASING:
  • Travelling around the area trying to catch railtours at various different locations.
  • CHAV:
  • Often found near railways, and frequently being abusive to railway enthusiasts. This rare species of Moron can usually be recognised by the hooded top and trainers and gormless expression.
  • CHAVESS:
  • Female Chav, can be easily recognised by the mobile phone which will be in constant use, or being carried around along with the packet of fags and lighter (or these days, a Vape thingy). Note# - these won't fit into the pockets of her overtight jeans which is why they have to be carried. Usually called something naff like Kylie.
  • CHAV CHARIOT:
  • Aircraft taking Chavs to Spain on holiday e.g. Jet2.com, EasyJet, Ryanair etc.
  • CHAV JEWELLERY:
  • Usually a mobile phone and cigarette lighter, nearly always carried by a 'Pink Blob' Chavess.
  • CHAV UNIFORM:
  • Usually a Black Shell Suit with 'hoodie' and white trainers.
  • CHAV STICK:
  • Monopod, also very useful for belting any Chavs with if they get lippy or try to nick your camera gear.
  • CHEESE DOORSTEP:
  • A luxury food item in the north of England, this usually consists of about half a pound of cheese (none of that metric rubbish here) between two slices of very thick bread (basically a loaf that has been cut in half). A big gob is a useful asset when eating one of these!
  • CHIPPEX:
  • A special train ride which usually involves stopping somewhere while all the passengers get chips and stuff from a nearby Fish and Chip Shop.
  • CHIPPY:
  • Fish and Chip Shop. A site of holy pilgrimage in Lancashire, especially on a Friday neet when you want a chippy tea.
  • CHIMLEY:
  • A chimney, for some reason many Lancastrians pronounce it as 'Chimley' e.g. 'Factory Chimley'.
  • CHOPPERS:
  • Nickname for Class 20 locos.
  • CHUCKLE BROTHERS WALK:
  • That funny shuffling walk that Phonetards do, which consists of holding the smartphone flat in the left hand, and shuffling along slowly whilst looking down at it. It always reminds me of the way the Chuckle Brothers used to walk.
  • CLAG MONSTER:
  • Diesel Loco that puts out large clouds of oily fumes.
  • Cloggin' It:
  • Going very fast.
  • CLT:
  • Cruise Liner Terminal at Liverpool.
  • COFFIN DODGER:
  • Elderly Person.
  • COMING DOWN IN BUCKETS:
  • Raining heavily.
  • CORPORATION POP:
  • East Lancashire slang for 'Water' (Lancastrians hate to admit that they drink water unless it has hops and malt in it!).
  • CRACKERS:
  • Not the wafer like things usually eaten with cheese, but rather the British slang term for someone who is a bit barmy or crazy - e.g. "That Windypics bloke must be crackers to stand out in the freezing cold or pouring rain taking photos!"
  • CRAP WEATHER PHOTOGRAPHER:
  • Some daft Bugger who goes out taking photographs in unsuitable weather, particularly torrential downpours.
  • CROMPTON:
  • Class 33 Diesel Loco (occasionally referred to as 'Colin' after the late comedian Colin Crompton).
  • CVR:
  • Churnet Valley Railway.

    'LETTER 'D'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • DAFT BINT:
  • Silly woman, e.g. "Some daft bint walked into my shot!"
  • DAFT SOD:
  • Two explanations for this one, the first is that it's yet another name for stupid people like 'Pillock, Barmpot, Wazzock etc., and the second is a term of abuse often shouted out when required e.g. "Get out of my shot you Daft Sod!".
  • DEAD RAT ON A STICK:
  • Term normally used to describe a microphone with a fluffy wind sock covering it, you will often see the videographers using these.
  • DEAD SHEEP:
  • Like a 'Dead Rat' only bigger, often used by the 'pros'.
  • DIGITAL CHICKEN WINGS:
  • Sticking out elbows - see 'Elbow Merchant' for more detailed explanation.
  • DITHERING DON:
  • Hated almost as much as 'Last Minute Harry', this bloke just can't make his mind up or keep still, and will constantly fidget and change position every few minutes.
  • DMU:
  • Diesel Multiple Unit.
  • DOING A FRED:
  • Named in honour of Fred Kerr, this entails barging your way in front of everyone, or getting in everyone's shot quite deliberately and not giving a damn about it (see 'Ignorant Git' for details of how to deal with such people). Always reminds me of Gordon in the Thomas the Tank Engine stories - "Out of my way - important engine coming through"! :-)
  • DONKEY:
  • Class 140, 141, 142 or 143 cheaply made Diesel Multiple Unit 'Pacers' (also known as 'Nodding Donkeys'). Some people think that this term is unfair to real Donkeys, who really don't like to be compared to those things.
  • DOUBLE-HEADER:
  • Two locos at the front of the train (with chimney to the front).
  • DOUBLE-TENDER:
  • As above, but with both locos running tender first.
  • DRIVER GROUPY:
  • Usually an older guy, can often be found standing next to the cab of a steam loco when it's stopped in a platform. These men like to chat up the drivers so that they can boast to people that they know them. Can usually be recognised quite easily as there will often be a bunch of photographers (usually with expensive Canon DSLRs hung around their necks), gnashing their teeth as they wait for him to clear off so that they can get a clear shot of the loco.
  • DRS:
  • Direct Rail Services, yet another UK freight operator, also operates some very nice Class 37s on the Nuclear Flask Train services.
  • DUB-DEE:
  • Often used when referring to a War Department 2-8-0 locomotive.
  • DUCK ISLAND MOB:
  • A feathery bunch of aquatic terrorists who control the stretch of the River Irwell across the road from Rawtenstall Station.
  • DUCK SHOOTER:
  • Photographer who takes his photos using the infamous 'Duck Stance' (see 'Duck Stance' entry for more details).
  • DUCK STANCE:
  • Generally seen when men of a certain age are taking photographs. This involves bending the knees slightly and then sticking the arse out as far backwards as possible, and leaning the chest forward with elbows stuck out horizontally whilst holding the camera. Frequently seen on rural station platforms when a steam hauled charter is passing through.
  • DUFF:
  • Class 47 Diesel Loco.

    'LETTER 'E'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • EAST LANCASHIRE WEATHER:
  • Raining heavily.
  • ECML:
  • East Coast Main Line.
  • EGG BANJO:
  • Fried Egg Sandwich.
  • EHR:
  • Elsecar Heritage Railway.
  • ELBOW MERCHANT:
  • Photographer who takes pictures with his elbows (Digital Chicken Wings) stuck out horizontally. Increasingly seen these days due to the number of viewfinderless cameras now appearing. Can be easily recognised due to the silly grin they usually have on their faces, this is due to there being a tendon which runs from the elbows to the cheeks, and which causes this effect when the elbows are stuck outwards (you're trying it aren't you?). Just ask Billy Connolly if you don't believe me, he discovered that other famous tendon that runs from a bloke's testicles to his cheek, and which causes them to make that funny eye screwing impression when said areas are scratched (you're trying that as well now aren't you!).
  • ELR:
  • East Lancashire Railway.
  • EMU:
  • Electric Multiple Unit.
  • ETH:
  • Electric Train Heating. You often see a diesel stuck on the back of the train performing this duty.
  • EVR:
  • Ecclesbourne Valley Railway.

    'LETTER 'F'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • FAFFER:
  • Person who Faffs around.
  • FAFFING ABOUT:
  • Messing around aimlessly.
  • FAIR CLEMMED:
  • North of England slang/dialect meaning 'Very Hungry'.
  • FILM & FLY:
  • An increasingly common sight these days are the video makers, who get their clip of the 'main event' and then dash off home to try and be the first to get their video on YouTube, rather than watching and enjoying the rest of the event as us mere mortals would do. It appears that being the first is the most important thing with these, and some of the really fanatical will even have editing software and mobile internet connections in their vehicles so they can upload them without even having to go home first.
  • FLAILING BASHER:
  • Basher who sticks his arm out of the window and waves it up and down in an attempt to annoy video makers. Can look quite impressive when a whole coach load of them are doing it though.
  • FLASH & DASH:
  • A source of great amusement to me, these are the types that turn up to an Event or Gala, get the 'magazine shot' (usually a sunny three-quarter shot, and always from the front), and then dash off home again to try and be the first one to get the picture to the editor of one of the railway magazines. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen them all standing in a bunch taking the same shot, and then as soon as the loco had passed, it was like watching the start of the motor race as they dashed off to their cars. It is compulsory to yell out "And they're off!" if you see this happening!:-)
  • FLASKS:
  • Favourite item of many trainspotters, and used to carry lots of tea and coffee to stop them from freezing to death on cold days. NOTE# This term is also used for Nuclear Flask trains too.
  • FLASK TRAIN:
  • Nuclear Flask Train.
  • FORL:
  • Friends of Real Lancashire, a worthy organisation, of which I am proud to be a member, and which campaigns to have the proper and historic boundaries of the county palatine of Lancashire recognised, instead of that 'Greater Manchester' or 'Merseyside' nonsense.
  • FOOTEX:
  • Footplate Experience train, though the term has occasionally been applied to Football Specials as well.
  • FRED:
  • Class 66 Diesel Loco, usually in Freightliner livery.
  • FU JIN PILLOCK SCALE:
  • Method designed to measure just how awful the weather I'm out shooting in was. This is based on the number of people who tell me that I must be crackers (but often in stronger terms) for standing out in such terrible weather taking pictures.
  • FUSILIER:
  • Lancashire Fusilier' 45407 Black 5 Steam Loco based at the ELR.
  • FTT:
  • Fylde Transport Trust.

    'LETTER 'G'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • GBRf:
  • GB Railfreight, a UK mainline freight haulage company.
  • GCR:
  • Great Central Railway.
  • GILBERT'S BABY:
  • Class 47 D1501 Painted by ELR loco painter 'Gilbert' (TrainTelevision).
  • GONGOOZLER:
  • Canal equivalent of a Trainspotter or enthusiast..
  • GORDON:
  • Deltic D9016 'Gordon Highlander'.
  • GORMLESS:
  • Pronounced as 'Gormless', but often written as 'Gawmless', this is another popular term used a lot in the north, and means that someone is usually lacking in intelligence and has difficulty understanding things, or is a bit stupid - e.g. "He's a right gormless bugger!"
  • GORMLESS GORDON:
  • Bloke who usually has a blank expression on his face and stands right in your shot totally oblivious of the fact that he is getting in your way. There is also a really nasty 'advanced' version of Gordon who can be recognised by the fact that he will usually be picking his nose at the same time.
  • GOYLE:
  • Class 31 Diesel Loco.
  • GREASY SPOON:
  • Good old British style cafe, complete with greasy Bacon Butties and Bluebottles.
  • GYPG:
  • Great Yorkshire Preservation Group.
  • GREGG'S SPECIAL:
  • A trip to the local (or nearest) branch of Greggs for one of their delicious Pasties or Sarnies.
  • GRICER:
  • Railway enthusiast.
  • GRID:
  • Class 56 Diesel Loco.
  • GRONK:
  • Class 08 Diesel Shunting Loco.
  • GROWLER:
  • Class 37 Diesel (also known as a Tractor).
  • GVVT:
  • Glasgow Vintage Vehicle Trust.

    'LETTER 'H'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • HAWORTH HADDOCK:
  • A special evening service that runs on the Keighley & Worth Valley Railway from time to time, and involves the passengers being served with Fish & Chips and entertainment on the train.
  • HEADCODE:
  • Numbers often seen on front of many heritage locos e.g. 1Z57 etc.
  • HEAVY BREATHER:
  • Irritating and unimaginative photographer who can't think of a shot of his own, so comes and stands right behind you and pinches your shot by taking his photographs over your shoulder (warning some extreme versions of HBs do this even if you are in the middle of nowhere and there isn't another person around for miles. In my experience, a tap with the Chavstick can often cure this problem).
  • HELIPLOD:
  • Police Helicopter.
  • HOOVER:
  • Not the vacuum cleaner of that name, just the Class 50 Diesel Loco which sounds like them, also referred to just as 'Vacs' by some enthusiasts.

    'LETTER 'I'

  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • IGNORANT GIT:
  • Often used when referring to a selfish ignorant person, e.g. Overweight blokes called Fred who write for railway magazines and think that this entitles them to barge in front of everyone else and ruin their photographs, usually because they are so full of self importance. This is quite a serious condition, and if encountered you should try to cure them with one of the certified remedies, such as: (a) a swift kick up the Jacksie, preferably with a large boot (mine's a size 13 and does this very effectively), (b) a crack on the head with a Monopod, and (c) a severe belting with any large and solid object close to hand (NOTE# this cure may need to be applied several times just to make sure that the sufferer is well and truly cured, and also because it's very enjoyable).
    'LETTER 'J'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • JACKSIE:
  • Backside, buttocks, rear end e.g. "A kick up the Jacksie!".
  • JAM JAR BOTTOM JOE:
  • Person with very thick lens glasses.
  • JIGGERED:
  • Tired, exhausted, knackered etc.
  • JIMMY:
  • Jimmy the Jinty (47324), ELR loco which attempted to be the hero of a number of books by that name (see Amazon website).

    'LETTER 'K'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • KBMT:
  • Keighley Bus Museum Trust.
  • KETTLE:
  • Derogatory nickname for steam locos, often favoured by younger diesel enthusiasts.
  • KIP:
  • Kip = Sleep, e.g. "Going for a kip", "Having a kip" etc.
  • KRAPPENTRAMS:
  • Awful German built trams (sorry, LRVs) that replaced the fleet of unique and lovely heritage trams in Blackpool.
  • KLR:
  • Kirklees Light Railway.
  • KWVR:
  • Keighley & Worth Valley Railway.

    'LETTER 'L'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • LANKY:
  • A Lancastrian, or citizen of the great county palatine of Lancashire, also the way we speak, e.g. "Lanky Spoken Here"!
  • LAST MINUTE HARRY:
  • Man who always arrives at the last minute just as the loco comes into sight and just as you are about to take your shot. He frequently gets in everyone's way and ruins their preparations, and also talks very loudly much to the great annoyance of people who are filming.
  • LESBO-HIPPY LAND:
  • Hebden Bridge, it's like a magnet for them.
  • LINESIDING:
  • Taking photographs from on the railway's property, but only done legally if you happen to hold a Lineside Photographic Permit issued by that railway.
  • LITTLE OLD MAN CENTRAL:
  • Often to be found when a steam loco is passing through the area, when they are attracted like flies round (word censored).
  • LOCO DIAGRAM:
  • The path in the timetable which a particular loco is allocated to, e.g. Diesel Diagram, Steam Diagram etc.
  • LOST THE PLOT:
  • No idea what they are doing.
  • LTT:
  • Lancastrian Transport Trust.

    'LETTER 'M'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • MAGAZINE BORE:
  • A photographer who has had one or two of his photos published in a railway magazine and feels it is necessary to go out of their way to make a point of telling everyone they meet about it, even going so far as to produce the said magazine(s) in some cases and show everyone the picture(s).
  • MALCOLM:
  • Malcolm Freight Train.
  • MANC:
  • Mancunian - a person from Manchester.
  • MARTIN PARR MOMENT:
  • Martin Parr and the late great Tony Ray-Jones are two of my favourite photographers, and are/were renowned for taking pictures of the many idiosyncrasies of the British when at their seaside resorts or other eccentric pursuits.
  • MEMBERS OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC:
  • Another one with two meanings, one the obvious one e.g. they really were members of the general public that I was referring to, and the other is a euphamism, and if the term is presented in inverted commas e.g. 'Members of the general public', then I'm using it in place of two very naughty words which I couldn't possible use on a family friendly site like this, to refer to people who get in my way or do something else equally stupid.
  • MERSEY TROUT:
  • Brown non piscine object (turd) which was often seen floating down the River Mersey at one time.
  • MIDGED:
  • As used in 'Got Midged', e.g. got eaten alive by a swarm of vicious East Lancashire Midges - these nasty little Buggers wear Clogs and have teeth like razors!
  • MI-MIS:
  • The children and Grandchildren of Thatcherism, you know the type "Me Me Me Me", Me First, My choice, My Rights etc. etc. in other words a bunch of selfish t***s!
  • MIZZLE:
  • A mixture of Mist and Drizzle, which as Peter Kay likes to say is "That fine stuff that wets you right through!"
  • MONKEY TOWN:
  • Slang name for Heywood. I worked there for many years, and there were various theories as to its origins being related to either the fact that bar stools had holes in them for the monkey's tails to go through, the large number of Irish navvies who lived and worked there after the mass emigration following the famine, or nearby Heap Bridge which was often referred to or pronounced as 'Ape Bridge'.
  • MOSI (OR MOZZI):
  • Museum of Science and Industry in Manchester.
  • MTGM:
  • Museum of Transport Greater Manchester.
  • MTT:
  • Merseyside Transport Trust.
  • MY LORDZ:
  • Ecstatic cry made by bashers when a diesel loco goes fast, or by the few of them who have girlfriends when having sex.

    'LETTER 'N'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • NATPRES:
  • National Preservation Forum.
  • NETTLED:
  • As used in 'Got Nettled', e.g. had an unfortunate encounter with a clump of nettles and came off worst.
  • NICE ONE:
  • Chavs and Scallies are unable to use the words "Thank You" for some strange reason, so instead say something along the lines of "Nice One", usually said in a broad Salford accent (which is even stranger, as even the ones who don't come from Salford always seem do this as well). I wonder if there is some sort of Chav and Scally Academy somewhere that teaches such things?
  • NORTHERN LASSES:
  • See 'Northern Women' below, it's just the way we talk around these parts, 'lass' is interchangable with 'woman'.
  • NORTHERN WOMEN:
  • There are a lot of things I could say about Northern Women, but most would probably get me in serious trouble with them, so I'll just say that this term should always be prefaced by the words "Fierce" or "Bossy". Anyone who thinks that Norah Batty was a figment of Roy Clarke's imagination is kidding themsleves, and even the Romans and Vikings avoided visiting this area for a bit of rape and pillage out of fear that they would end up being handbagged or rollingpinned by them. I have a caulifower ear from all the times I was clipped round the ear by them for being cheeky (and that was when I was in my 40s). Northern Women even bite the heads off their husbands, just ask any northern male who has spent a bit too much time in the pub with his mates, he'll always say that "The wife bit my head off when I got home!"
  • NOT THE FULL SHILLING:
  • Not all there, one brick short of a full load, not quite right etc. Same as 'Shilling Short', which may also be used, e.g. "He's a shilling short", or "He's not the full shilling"!
  • NRM:
  • National Railway Museum in York.
  • NUTTERS:
  • Another one with two meanings, one is an insult about someone who is a bit crazy e.g. "He's a right nutter!", and also an affectionate term used by fans (like me) of the famous 'Britannia Coconut Dancers of Bacup' - e.g 'The Nutters' were appearing today".
  • NWMORT:
  • The North West Museum of Road Transport, which is situated in St Helens, Lancashire.
  • NWVRT:
  • North West Vehicle Restoration Trust.

    'LETTER 'O'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • OFF HIS/MY TROLLEY:
  • Behaving in a crazy way, deranged, in a confused mental state.
  • OLD DODDERER:
  • Elderly person who is getting a bit feeble (I'm not quite there yet but getting closer!).
  • ORANGE BLOBS:
  • People who wear Orange hi-viz vests. Note# whilst railway staff and lineside photographers are obliged to wear these, there is a certain breed of person (usually photographers) who wear them even when on platforms or any place where they're not really required, this is done just to let everyone know that they are a 'real photographer', and have even had one or two photos published in one of the railway magazines. Some of these people are even known to sleep in hi-viz pyjamas, and wear hi-viz underwear.

    'LETTER 'P'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • P-WAYS:
  • The ELR's legendary Track Maintenance Team.
  • PEAK:
  • Class 45 & 46 Diesel Loco.
  • PEG:
  • Signal.
  • PEKKY BLINDERS:
  • A fearsome gang of feral pigeons who usually hang around near the supermarket across the road from Rawtenstall Station, and crap on any of the passers by who fail to feed them, you can see a picture of these feathered miscreants HERE:
  • PERMANENT WAY:
  • The tracks, ballast and lineside structures of the railway.
  • PHONETARDS:
  • Smartphone Retards, we've all met them, they walk around with their heads down staring at their phones and walking into you and just about anything else. They can be easily recognised by the zombie like expressions when they occasionally look up. The cure for such people is a good swift kick up the arse!
  • PHOTTER:
  • Photographer.
  • PIE EATER:
  • Person from Wigan.
  • PILLOCK:
  • Local term for an Idiot.
  • PINK BLOB:
  • Female Chav, usually seen wearing an all pink 'chav suit', and pushing a pushchair with a screaming illegitimate snotgobbler in it, who is being ignored because she is too busy sending a text message to her friend, who just happens to be stood next to her. These can be easily recognised as they stand out like a sore thumb on railway platforms and buses, and usually have lots of old dears glaring at them and tut-tutting.
  • PLUGGER BLOW-INS:
  • Photographers and video makers who are so desperate to get hits on their websites that they send numerous e-mails to every mailing list going, and hi-jack threads on rail forums to plug their offerings at every opportunity (whilst rarely ever contributing anything else to discussions).
  • PLUM DUFF:
  • West Coast Railway Company Class 47.
  • PORKY POLA:
  • Coca Cola.
  • PRATTING ABOUT:
  • Messing around.
  • PRETENDOLINO:
  • A Pendolino being dragged on non-electrified lines by a diesel loco.
  • PURPLE PEOPLE EATER:
  • Purple coloured buses used by Rosso/Transdev on the 464 service (the original 'Purple People Eater' was the tittle of a song by Sheb Wooley back in the 1950s).
  • PUSHCHAIR MUMS:
  • I'm convinced that a small minority of 'Pushchair Mums' are members of that secret group consisting of 'Rivet Counters', 'Orange and Red Blobs', 'Carrier Bag Men' and 'Text Maniacs', whose job is to turn up at these events and get in our shots. I say this because I've all too frequently come across some of them who definitely fit the profile. The usual MO is to have a pushchair that is piled high with brightly coloured clothes and objects, and all kinds of other crap, and they then park this object, usually in front of the bus or loco that you are trying to photograph, and stand a few metres away from it. Then with powers of concentration that a Buddhist Monk would be proud of, they stand there totally oblivious to their rampaging and screaming snotgobblers, who are running around the place annoying everyone, and read their latest text messages. I'm definitely going to write to Santa this year and ask for a high powered electric cattle prod!

    'LETTER 'R'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • RAILFAN:
  • US name for railway enthusiasts. In my opinion we should adopt it over here too since it describes us far better than the term 'trainspotters', which the tabloid media tend to dub anyone with an interest in railways - even the ones like me who don't 'spot' trains. It's a bit more logical than the older term 'Gricer', and is pretty much self-explanatory.
  • RAMMY:
  • Ramsbottom Station.
  • RED BLOB:
  • Usually someone with a large 'Bay Window' stood at the end of the platform wearing a bright red jacket and ruining everyone's shots.
  • RIVET COUNTER:
  • Usually a bloke of a certain age who stands staring at the loco for ages oblivious to all the people waiting for him to shift his arse so they can take a photograph of it (the loco that is, not the Rivet Counter's arse). If you want to see what one of these looks like when in action, check the 'Locos seen at the ELR in July 2012' Gallery, there's a photo of one in there, clicking HERE: will take you straight to it. See Note #1 below for some important information about these people:
  • Note#1:
  • - I've long suspected that the Rivet Counters, Carrier Bag Men and Red and Pink Blobs are part of some secret organisation dedicated to getting in the way and ruining photographers' shots at any transport related event, and I have a photograph of all of these standing together chatting in front of a steam loco. I'd swear blind they were holding their AGM at the time!
  • RSR:
  • Ribble Steam Railway.

    'LETTER 'S'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • S & T DEPARTMENT:
  • Signal Engineering Department, the folks that look after and build the the signals and signalling equipment at the ELR.
  • SADDLE TANK:
  • Water tank which saddles the boiler of a steam loco.
  • SARNIE:
  • Yet another slang term for a sandwich, may also be referred to as a 'Buttie' or 'Butty' in some instances, see 'BUTTIE/BUTTY' for a more detailed explanation.
  • SATURDAY/SUNDAY DAD:
  • Sadly far too common a sight these days, the divorcee Dad who has won custody of his son or daughter at the weekends, but hasn't a clue what to do with them, so hangs around on the platform looking very sad. If you see one of these please be kind to him, they're generally quite nice people, and a little useful information about the locos will give them something to impress their youngsters with.
  • SCALLY:
  • An abbreviation for 'Scallywag', this term is often used in the north west of England (particularly Manchester and Liverpool) to describe young men who are a bit on the 'roguish' side, or are often up to no good.
  • SCOTTYDRIVER:
  • One of the many thousands of people (liars/fantasists) who have come up to me over the years and told me that they used to drive the Flying Scotsman.
  • SCOUSER:
  • Person from Liverpool.
  • SCROTE:
  • Undesirable or contemptible person, usually a young male. The term is thought to be derived from 'Scrotum'.
  • SCROTE SEATS:
  • Seats at the back of a service bus where the Scrotes usually head for, probably so they can have a crafty drag on their Vaping devices.
  • SCROTELAND:
  • Usually a part of a town or area where some of these undesirables live, and best visited on a Sunday morning when they're all sleeping off the previous night's beer. Never a good idea to have expensive cameras on display when visiting such places, and always well worth taking a Monopod along with you just in case you need to belt any of the ones that venture too close, or who become threatening.
  • SCUBA DIVER:
  • Steam enthusiast who rides in the front coach with his head out of the window, and wears goggles to avoid getting cinders in his eyes.
  • SELFIEMAGGEDON:
  • An event where all the social media and Facebook types turn up and take photos of themselves gurning in front of whatever they want to post on their pages. Do their friends and families really want to see endless photos of them blocking out the items of interest with silly expressions, I wouldn't!
  • SEX CHANGER:
  • Old bloke who goes on like an old woman (some elderly photographers seem very prone to this condition, which can also be a rare strain of Victor Meldrewitis ).
  • SHED:
  • Class 66 Diesel Loco, usually in EWS or DBS livery.
  • SHILLING SHORT:
  • Not all there, e.g. "He's a shilling short". Same meaning as 'Not the full shilling'!
  • SHOT STEALER:
  • Someone who can't think of shots of their own, so just copies photos seen in books and magazines, or on other people's websites.
  • SHUTTER MERCHANTS:
  • Folks who buy cameras costing thousands of pounds, but have no idea how to use them and just set them on 'automatic', and then take very long 'shutter bursts' of everything, even static objects.
  • SIX FOOT SPIKY FENCES:
  • Beloved by Network Rail, these monstrosities are gradually enveloping all of the UK's mainline railways.
  • SKIP:
  • Class 67 Diesel Loco.
  • SLAPPER:
  • Nickname for WD132 'Sapper'.
  • SMART PHONE DALEKS:
  • I'm sure you've seen them, usually teenagers, they walk around with one arm stuck out holding their smartphones flat in the palm of their hands, they all remind me of Daleks when they do this (mind you, I'd love to see a real Dalek come along and exterminate a few of the buggers!).
  • SMART PHONE NAZI:
  • Groups of people who all hold their smart phones up in the air with their right arm extended to take photos to shove on their social media pages, they often look like they're giving the Nazi salute.
  • SMART PHONE SADDO:
  • A person who doesn't have any sort of 'real' life, and just lives a virtual one through their smartphone, where they imagine that they are in some way famous or important and have hundreds of friends and followers hanging on to their every word or action.
  • SMART PHONE ZOMBIE:
  • One of the growing number of people who walk around everywhere sending and receiving text messages as they walk, and totally oblivious to their surroundings, or to the people whose way they frequently get into.
  • SMARTY TUBE:
  • One of Richard Branson's 'Pendelino' trains.
  • SNOTGOBBLER:
  • Young Child.
  • SNOTGOBBLER FLEECING:
  • Thomas the Tank Engine and Santa Special events, which are designed to get parents to part with as much of their brass as possible in order to keep their little horrors happy, and some members of the railway's Management in full time employment.
  • SNOWFLAKES:
  • Another one with a double meaning, one is the nice white cold things that occasionally fall when we have something like a proper winter, and the other is a description for the sort of Metropolitan elites that run the Labour Party and the BBC these days and live on a different planet to the rest of us. NOTE# - beware if you get close to one, they're easily offended, I should know, I'm an expert at causing such offense with some of my blunt remarks! :-)
  • SPAM CAN:
  • Slang name for Bulleid Battle of Britain class 4-6-2 steam locos (because of their shape).
  • SPARE PATHS:
  • Unused sections of the timetable found during the Low Season. Footex, Railtours and Freight charters may sometimes appear in these paths.
  • SPOT FACTORY:
  • Teenage Boy.
  • SPOT TRAINER:
  • Teenage Train Spotter with a very spotty visage.
  • SPOTTER:
  • Train Spotter.
  • SQUEAKY WHEEL:
  • Usually a member of a minority or political party (SNP etc.) who complain and whine endlessly in the hope of receiving even more handouts from everyone else.
  • SQUEAKY WHEEL SYNDROME:
  • Conditions suffered by 'Squeaky Wheels', which makes them whine and complain endlessly in the hope of receiving even more handouts just because they are 'special'.
  • STEPLADDER MAN:
  • Comes in two varieties, one who uses them sensibly to photograph over high bridge parapets, high fences etc., and the other, and the one who is greatly despised by most other photographers, who uses them inappropriately, mainly because they just happen to like being higher up than everyone else (these types are often Managers in their working lives, and their brains are just wired up that way).
  • SUNDAY MORNING JOB:
  • Sometimes it's difficult to get the shot you want because there are either too many people around, or there are cars parked in the way, so I often find that the best time to photograph them is early on a Sunday morning, when people are either still in bed sleeping off the previous night's beer, or not working.
  • SUNNY 3/4 BRIGADE:
  • These are photographers who only leave the house if the sky is blue and the Sun is shining. They can be seen standing in clusters trying to take 'sunny threequarter shots' of the front and side of locos (no tender shots are permitted). Certain more extreme members of this brigade will attempt to bore the crap out of everyone they meet by regaling them with stories of fantastic sunny shots that they managed to get the last time they were allowed out of the (nut?) house.
  • SUSAN BOYLE:
  • Also often just 'Susan', this is a derogatory term used to describe the appearance of a Class 70 loco (these are also referred to as 'Uglies' by some rail enthusiasts, though I quite like them).
  • SVR:
  • Severn Valley Railway.

    'LETTER 'T'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • TBA:
  • 'To Be Announced'.
  • TDTT:
  • Town & District Transport Trust - Bus group based in Great Harwood.
  • TEDDY BEAR:
  • Class 14 Diesel Loco.
  • TESCO:
  • Tesco Freight Train.
  • TESCO SPECIAL:
  • A visit to the toilets at the nearest supermarket (can also be interchanged with 'Asda Special', 'Morrisons Special', 'Sainsbury's Special' as appropriate, or for posh and really posh people a 'Waitrose' or even a 'Harrods' special.)
  • TEXT MANIAC:
  • The growing number of 'text' addicts who can't go more than 5 minutes without checking them. This is especially annoying when they do it in front of the thing you are waiting to photograph, since they become so engrossed in what they are doing they are usually oblivious to the annoyance they are causing. Shouting "OY YOU - SHIFT YOUR ARSE!" very loudly usually gets rid of the buggers.
  • TFGM:
  • Transport For Greater Manchester.
  • THE CRAB:
  • LMS Hughes Crab '42765', currently being restored at the ELR.
  • THE DUKE:
  • Duke of Gloucester 71000, BR Standard Class 8 steam loco, often based at the ELR.
  • THIEVING GIT:
  • Term of endearment used to describe a Politician or Banker.
  • THRUTCHING:
  • Pulling ones guts out.
  • THUMPER:
  • Nickname for Class 205 or 207 diesel units.
  • TOPPED AND TAILED:
  • A loco at the front and rear.
  • TOPER:
  • A heavy drinker, someone who likes his 'pop' a bit too much. 'Pop' in this case means beer and not the fizzy drink that is usually referred to as Pop (to US visitors Pop in this instance is what you'd call Soda e.g "A bottle of Pop"!).
  • TRACTOR:
  • Class 37 Diesel (also known as a Growler).
  • TRAIN SPOTTER:
  • Someone who likes to collect train numbers, often has Asperger's Syndrome or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Real hard core ones can be identified by the lines of green ink they place through a loco's details in their Ian Allen loco lists once they've 'spotted' it.
  • TRAINSPOTTER JEWELLERY:
  • Usually consists of a flask, notepad and pen, and a woolie bobble hat.
  • TTI:
  • Travelling Ticket Inspector.
  • TUG:
  • Nickname for Class 60 Diesel Loco.
  • TWO RONNIES:
  • A pair of West Coast Railway Company Class 57 Diesel locos, often seen top and tailing a Railtour.

    'LETTER 'U'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • UGLIES:
  • Derogatory term often used to describe Class 70 locos, though a growing number of people are now referring to them as 'Susan Boyles' or just 'Susans' now.
  • USELESS PILLOCKS:
  • Derogatory term often used to describe BBC Weather forecasters when they've told me that the weather would be something completely different to what it actually was. e.g. "BBC Weather forecasters are a bunch of useless pillocks!".

    'LETTER 'V'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • VEG:
  • Slang term used by Bashers when referring to lineside photographers.
  • VICTOR MELDREW MOMENT:
  • A common thing with us older folks, we occasionally like to get on our soapbox and have a good rant about something which we find stupid (e.g overzealous security guards, jobsworths, and Health & Safety types who don't live in the real world). I seem to have quite a lot of VM Moments these days!:-) (Note# - For the benefit of overseas visitors who have never heard of VM, he was an elderly British sitcom character who was famous for his exasperated rants against the stupidity of life, and his catch phrase of "I don't belieeeeve it!). Those of us who are frequently affected by this condition could be said to be suffering from 'Victormeldrewitis'.
  • VIDEO VEG:
  • Slang term used by Bashers when referring to lineside video makers.

    'LETTER 'W'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • WATERING HOLE:
  • Pub (or cafe in the case of Tee Totallers).
  • WAZZOCK:
  • Another common northern term of abuse, e.g. "He's a right Wazzock" (stupid or annoying person, similar to 'Pillock' and 'Barmpot') As you may have noticed, we have a lot of colourful names for these types of people here in the north of England.
  • WCML:
  • West Coast Main Line.
  • WHEELIE BIN:
  • Alternate name for Class 140, 141, 142 & 143 DMUs for the benefit of people who think calling them 'Donkeys' is offensive to real donkeys (they have a good point)!
  • WHR:
  • Welsh Highland Railway.
  • WINDYPICS WEATHER:
  • Same as 'East Lancashire Weather - e.g. grey, wet and miserable, just the way I like it!
  • WOOLY BACK:
  • Derogatory term which Scousers use to describe the rest of us folks from Lancashire.
  • WRBG:
  • West Riding Bus Group.
  • WYPTE:
  • West Yorkshire Passenger Transport Executive.

    'LETTER 'Y'
  • TERM USED
  • EXPLANATION:
  • YOBEX:
  • Football Special.
  • YORKY:
  • Not the chocolate bar of that name which is much loved by lorry drivers, but our neighbours across the border in Yorkshire. I could be hauled up before the 'Council for un-Lancastrian Activities' and burned as a heretic for daring to say this, or even banned for life from ever visiting Yorkshire again, but the fact is that Lankys and Yorkys are really very similar, and we are really only aware of this when we're surrounded by Southeners, at which time we all then magically morph into 'Northeners' and are indistinguishable from one another.


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    Last updated: 25th of April 2023.